We’re in the second half of the season now, so we’ve already got a pretty good idea of which players are worth keeping an eye on until the summer.
There was no shortage of top performances this week, and it’s our job at 90min to rank the top 15 performers, but we need a little help.
Last week, it was the turn of the Golden Globe nominees. This time around, it’s over to the Screen Actors Guild.
“Everyone in this world is one of three kinds: a good terminator, a bad terminator and neutral.” (Hillbilly Elegy)
Everyone’s favourite half-cyborg, Haaland hasn’t been scoring too often recently, but he’s been making up for it with some assists.
He managed his sixth of the season this week, but that wasn’t enough to stop Dortmund slumping to a 2-1 loss to Freiburg.
“You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Now make yourself at home.” (Judas and the Black Messiah)
After getting assisted for his 14th goal of the Bundesliga season, Weghorst returned the favour and turned creator, setting up Wolfsburg’s second in a 2-0 win over Augsburg.
He’s now tied for third in the Bundesliga scoring charts, and the two people ahead of him might just feature somewhere else on this list.
“Thank you, for everything.” (Pieces of a Woman)
Opening the scoring in a victory over rivals Marseille is a good way to keep PSG fans happy.
That’s exactly what Mbappe did this week, although his thunder was stolen a little but by Dimitri Payet’s attempt to become a kung fu master midway through the game.
“Damn, Otis just put the gold on Craigslist!” (Da 5 Bloods)
This week brought more gold from Ibrahimovic, who netted his 13th and 14th Serie A goals in just his 11th game in the competition in a 4-0 win over Crotone.
He started and finished off a beautiful move for his first goal, before tapping home what may well be the easiest goal he has ever scored. A good week.
“My mom says that you’re homeless. Is that true?”
“No, I’m not homeless. I’m just houseless. Not the same thing, right?” (Nomadland)
With as many assists as positive COVID-19 tests this week, Muller will be getting better acquainted with the inside of his house than ever before.
He set up the goal in Bayern’s 1-0 win over Hertha but barely featured at the Club World Cup, instead watching his team lift the trophy in isolation.
“You didn’t think this was the end, did you? It is now.” (Promising Young Woman)
Have we seen the end of the most exciting Premier League title race in years?
Because of Gundogan, probably.
He netted twice in Manchester City’s 4-1 win over Liverpool, playing so well that he was even able to laugh off the fact that he skied a penalty as well. The man’s on fire.
“You’ve become very important to a lot of people around here.” (Sound of Metal)
After a slow January, Fernandes is back firing on all cylinders again.
He scored the pick of the bunch in Manchester United’s 3-3 draw with Everton, curling home a fantastic effort from outside the box to give his side what should have been a comfortable cushion.
“Your record is going to stand the test of time.” (One Night in Miami)
Messi loves breaking records, and he set a new personal best in Barcelona’s 3-2 win over Real Betis.
He started the game on the bench, but after he came on midway through the second half, he needed just 136 seconds to find the back of the net – his fastest ever goal as a substitute.
Messi also pulled the strings for Barca’s second goal of the game, pulling off the kind of pass that helps the club justify his astronomical contract.
“Don’t worry. Everything will sort itself out.” (The Father)
Lukaku will have to try sort things out next week after drawing two blanks for Inter.
A goalless draw with Juventus saw Inter crash out of the Coppa Italia this week, but now the focus is solely on toppling Milan at the top of the Serie A table.
“The world is watching!” (The Trial of the Chicago 7)
The eyes of the world are on Andre Silva, whose goalscoring exploits are currently at a level most players can only dream of.
The Frankfurt hitman bagged his 17th goal of the Bundesliga season in just his 19th game, making him the second-top scorer in Europe’s top five leagues this season.
“I want credit. It’s the best thing I’ve ever written.” (Mank)
Kimmich is rightly viewed as one of the world’s finest footballers, and yet somehow, he still doesn’t get the credit he deserves.
He walked away with the Bronze Ball from the Club World Cup and he was unlucky not to get a goal in the final, seeing an impressive effort controversially ruled out for offside.
“Very nice!” (Borat Subsequent Moviefilm)
Another game, another goal for Immobile.
He bagged the only goal in Lazio’s 1-0 win over Cagliari, but Immobile could have easily had two or three, had it not been for the efforts of goalkeeper ( and ex-Football Manager wonderkid) Alessio Cragno.
“Everybody needs a little faith.” (The Little Things)
Ronaldo has always had faith in Juventus’ ability to win the title, and he’s doing his utmost to deliver that.
He netted his 16th goal of the season in a 2-0 win over top-four hopefuls Roma this week, helping Andrea Pirlo’s side hop up into third.
“We said we wanted a new start. This is it.” (Minari)
He might not necessarily have wanted this fresh start, but boy is Suarez making the most of his time with Atletico Madrid.
The Uruguayan netted twice in a 2-2 draw with Celta Vigo this week, and Suarez is currently on a run of seven goals in his last four games. Not too shabby.
“A one. A two. A you-know-what-to-do.” (Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom)
One assist. Two goals. One Club World Cup trophy for Lewandowski.
Directly involved in every goal Bayern scored at the tournament, it came as no surprise to see Lewandowski awarded the Golden Ball. He must be used to being the best player around by now.
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